The town…

You can call it what you want, kTown, Kallangur heights, Lang-Lang or Hungry Hill (as the original inhabitants like to call it), but it’s not going to change a thing. kTown is still a town on the old road to Gympie in the middle of nowhere, and now that the Bruce Highway has passed it by the poor town is even more crap.

Too many shops

Kallangur town has a big problem, and that is that even though the shopping malls built 20 years ago have never been filled with tenants, there’s still more new shops being built, I think there’s probably 1 shop for every 2 people in kTown that’s probably because people that live in Kallangur rarely go out, they just sit inside all day, and watch TV.

Kallangur Gangs

Koala beating gang

A bunch of losers go around K Town beating up Koalas, I mean WTF? What kinda town we in here? Koalas are like Australia’s most famous Animal, the other thing people do is actually beat the crap out of other peoples pets, I mean like dogs, cats and the like, they should probably let these kids into the pub, at least they’d be under the watchful eyes of bouncers.

Kallangarin Gang

People reckon there was a gang back in the 80’s and early 90’s that roamed kallangur and was feirce, if it is true they’re either in jail now or they are the tatooe’d 40 somethings that roam the streets between grinners and finnigans chin on their treadlys because they got done for DUI too much.

The cops

The cops are like a gang in Kallangur, and I don’t know why, there’s just something about them; you can expect that if you pass through Anzac Avenue any time between 11pm and 4am you’ll be pulled over and grilled, especially if you’re in an early model ride. If it’s not the asshole traffic branch with some obscure law he wants you for it’s some new recruit female copper trying to prove what she’s worth. Go away!

Almost every second house has been raided in kTown, it’s like some game, however they don’t catch real crime bosses, just kids without receipts for their rollerblades, because they are too busy to do any intelligent police work, or maybe they’re being paid, don’t know. Go away!

The song…

I was born in Kallangur, not what some people call Kallangur Heights either, real Kallangur, and despite all of the above, my mates and I have always managed to have fun, though normally on the drive out of there, aka the Bruce Highway… on the road to places like Redcliffe, Mooroochy, and Cavill Ave. Good stuff.

Listen to Kallangur

I bust onto the scene, turn on my coffee machine,

I’ve got rhymes so fat,

that jenny craig would give my money back jack.

I spare a thought for the girl who makes it all worthwhile,

picking up the rythm -

now I’m picking up the style.

Zero four, zero five, three nine three, six double one:

You can call me on a saturday night, after my dominoes run.

Bring your mates and bring some dates and bring some beer, and bring some steaks;

’cause we’re gona have fun until the night is very late.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

“Where’s my snare? I need more snare in my headphones?”

You don’t need to drop beats

in a million dollar studio.,

you don’t even need a logical place for your flow to go,

you just need to make a track,

for your mates to sit in the front and the back

of the car, and just love life.

Listen to the music, let the trouble bounce away,

as your cruising round Brissy

or the Bruce Highway.

Mooroochy to the nNorth

or Cavill Ave to the South

Redcliffe to kTown:

Spread the word of mouth.